I spent the first night of the New Year with my family here in TN...having dinner together, catching up with each other, worshipping, and being encouraged by the word. Despite being sick for the past 2 weeks and only having energy to sleep for the past couple of days, I felt so alive tonight. My heart was full of joy and hope.
One of the songs we sang was One Day by Matisyahu:
sometimes I lay
under the moon
and thank God I'm breathing
then I pray
don't take me soon
cause I am here for a reason
sometimes in my tears I drown
but I never let it get me down
so when negativity surrounds
I know some day it'll all turn around
because
all my life I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
for the people to say
that we don't wanna fight no more
they'll be no more wars
and our children will play
one day x6
it's not about
win or lose cause
we all lose
when they feed on the souls of the innocent
blood drenched pavement
keep on moving though the waters stay raging
in this maze you can lose your way (your way)
it might drive you crazy but don't let it faze you no way (no way)
sometimes in my tears I drown
but I never let it get me down
so when negativity surrounds
I know some day it'll all turn around
because
all my life I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
for the people to say
that we don't wanna fight no more
they'll be no more wars
and our children will play
one day x6
one day this all will change
treat people the same
stop with the violence
down with the hate
one day we'll all be free
and proud to be
under the same sun
singing songs of freedom like
one day x4
all my life I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
for the people to say
that we don't wanna fight no more
they'll be no more wars
and our children will play
one day x6
Go ahead and listen to it, too....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kS9uTiEY9ag&feature=endscreen&NR=1
Despite my froggy throat, I was singing as loud as I could... eyes closed and hands clasped in front of me as I saw in my head pictures of one day when my children play with children of a different race, color, and culture. Playing with children who actually have the energy to play because they get to eat and aren't sick because they have shoes, clothes, and clean water. I envisioned that one day when I'm joining hands with people, living amongst my brothers and sisters united by the same love and hope for a bright future.
I'm so filled with hope this year. I'm surrounded by a group of people who are filled with this same hope and same willingness to follow Jesus into the homes of the broken and I'm so thankful.
In our Bible Study, we talked about the darkness of experiencing this world alone. For people who choose to ignore the suffering and pursue power..."one person who has no other, either son or brother, yet there is no end to all his toil, and his eyes are never satisfied with riches, so that he never asks, "For whom am I toiling and depriving myself of pleasure?" This also is vanity and an unhappy business." Eccl. 4:8. Or for people who attempt to take on the burdens by themselves, they also will experience a lonely ending.
But friendships are what we hold dear to our heart. In John 15, Jesus says, "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." Going through this text tonight, I realized I'm falling in love with Jesus in a whole new way. Eccl 4:2-3 says, "and I thought the dead who are already dead more fortunate than the living who are still alive. But better than both is he who has not yet been and has not seen the evil deeds that are done under the sun."
What a dark picture. But Jesus changes all of that. Through friendships, we can carry the burdens but also the hope to light up the darkness, bring order to chaos, and love that frees the suffering and oppressed. Jesus did it alone, but he promised us that he will always be with us. And as I looked around at a room full of people I'm growing to love so incredibly much, I'm so energized rather than burdened by this vocation in which I've chosen to partner with God in. I'm energized because I won't be alone, but I'll be working alongside my family - using our unique strengths to work together as a body to represent Christ in the world. The Christ who was concerned about friendships... friendships with people he loved so much he'd lay his life down for.
What better way to live... and what better way to die. To have such purpose and to be filled with so much love.
For some strange reason, I've always been intensely afraid that I will be alone. I'm so filled with gratitude to be amongst such a family and know I will never be alone, but have finally found a group of people who share the same heart as me... who are heavy with the pain the world endures, but filled with hope for "one day when there are no more wars, and our children will play, one day"... and who love and believe in Jesus so much they've chosen to FOLLOW him...and actually LIVE out the gospel.
I'm falling in love with Jesus and I'm falling in love with my family here in Tennessee. What better way to ring in the New Year?
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